Two days ago I received an envelope in the mail.
Inside was a Valentine’s Day card “To My Granddaughter”
Both of my grandmothers are deceased.
Inside of the touching and pre-written card it was signed, “I love you, Granny”
Also enclosed inside of the card was a small printed note from my (living) father explaining that he had found this pre-signed card in some papers of my Granny’s that he had been sorting through.
Last year, for the last three days of my Granny’s life, I held her hand as leukemia ebbed the life from her. Even after she slipped into a coma, I held her hand. I was the person to whom she spoke her last words.
That card shattered me.
I miss her terribly. I was her only granddaughter.
Mostly, what I miss was the fact that even in her last moments of consciousness, she laughed. She had a sense of humor and fun that kept her laughing to the last. She told stories and she loved to hear stories. I could make her laugh and she really loved to laugh.
She also loved my red Converse All Stars. Every time I wear them, I think of her and how they made her smile. She had a huge smile that seemed to take up her whole face. That woman was all teeth. I wish I had her wide, full mouth, but I definitely got the teeth. Big, tall teeth all crammed into my little mouth.
I’m not the kind of person to draw meaningful connections between meaningless coincidences, but I’d been wearing her opal ring for a few days when I got that card. And today I got some good news. I can see how it would be comforting to imagine that she’s watching over me, letting me know that good things were coming. That thought makes me feel good, even though I know she’s gone and it’s just my imagination.
I’m wearing my red Converse All Stars now.